Originally published in the November 1985 Collector and Emitter.
From time to time we get letters from readers of our reports of the exploits of Q. R. Zedd, the world’s greatest DXer, who lives just a hoot and a holler south of Norman.
Some letters say the column is so stupid, why do we keep doing it, and all, but every once in a while we get nice letters, and even questions about your humble reporter. So if you will take my word for it that Zedd is off the air at the moment, working on his walk-in linear and writing his Christmas want list, I’ll humbly answer a few of the questions addressed to the author.
QUESTION: Are you really a ham? You don’t act like you know much.
ANSWER: Yes, I really am. Which only goes to prove that even the FCC can make mistakes. I got into amateur radio about 10 years ago, after dreaming about it since my youth (mostly on nights when I had eaten too much pizza.) I moved right up and only failed the Technician once, the General three times, the Advanced three times, and the Extra three times, but Zedd told me to keep trying and I finally passed them all, I don’t know how, luck, I think.
QUESTION: What do you do for a living, or are you a welfare parasite?
ANSWER: I wish I were, but I do the next best thing, I teach over at the University of Oklahoma and write books sometimes, and my hobbies besides amateur radio are tennis and trying to figure out if I’ll ever get a raise.
QUESTION: Tell us about your background.
ANSWER: I don’t have much of a background and it’s real dull, actually. I was born poor and have tried t lot of things to make money but have never done very_well at any of them. I think I missed my calling in 1955 when I quit selling Fuller Brushes. I sold the hell out of those toothbrushes. I had my horoscope cast once and the lady told me I was destined to be a failure all my life. That knowledge has helped me greatly by contributing to a more relaxed attitude on my part.
QUESTION: What makes you think you can write humor?
ANSWER: I never tried to write any. All my. stuff is heavy, technological, and most serious.
QUESTION: Who inspired you to create Q. R. Zedd?
ANSWER: Questions like this really upset me. Oh, ye of little faith. Zedd is real. He is as real as love and Christmas and Braums ice cream. God bless you, child, better to say the Easter Bunny isn’t real. Or Tondelayo. He lives just a hoot and a holler south of town. He invented radar and the plastic milk bottle. No one could make up Q. R. Zedd. However, if I had made him up, I would have to say three people would have been the inspiration. First would be WA5MLT, who used to live in Norman, and to this day still holds the microphone-swallowing record for the southwest region, as well as the coveted Yodar Kritch. H.O. got the rf bug bad a few years ago when he borrowed a Swan 350 from N5MS. Later he started chasing DX. He infected me with that. Thanks to H.O., I went from having a Swan 700CX and a random wire to having a Kenwood 820S and a Dentron Linear and a big beam and a Drake TR7 station and linear and a Datong and a speech processor and debts in excess of $7,000, all due to amateur radio. When my wife threw me out, I think my interest in amateur radio was listed as one of her reasons, and I owe all this to WA5MLT. My second inspiration was W5OU. When I first got into DX, I would call him breathlessly on 2 meters to report something like, “Gordon! Guess what! I just worked Italy on 20 meters!” Gordon has a logbook the size of the World Trade Center, and he would always be polite, and riffle back through the pages, and tell me the last time he worked that country on 75. He taught me humility—, a lesson I later, thank God, forgot, or I couldn’t have stayed a DXer. My third inspiration was W5NUT, who took me with him to St. Maarten once. From Gillie I learned how to work a pileup, tune the Collins S-line, and drink canned iced tea all morning without going to the bathroom. I learned a lot of other stuff from W5NUT and had the time of my life down there with him. At the risk of being maudlin, I hope I get the money scraped up to go back with him some day.
QUESTION: What was your own greatest DX thrill?
ANSWER: I think it was the first time I worked A5A. That was on his VietnamDXpedition right before the border war wrecked his campsite and he had to hike out through Tibet.
QUESTION: Why don’t you put. the Zedd adventures into a book?
ANSWER: No demand from publishers that would pay, or do it for free, and I’m too cheap to pay for it myself. I told you I’ve always failed at most stuff: this whole Zedd thing is just another example.. I dreamed it would make me famous and rich. But that’s another story.
QUESTION: How long have you been writing about Zedd now?
ANSWER: A little over four years. This is No. 44 on the computer, and there were a few done before I got the machine.
QUESTION: How long do you plan to keep writing about Zedd?
ANSWER: I dunno. Until he makes me stop or I run out of gas or some famous biographer comes along and signs him up for a real life story and I get threatened with a lawsuit if I don’t stop, or something.
QUESTION: Do you have any advice for regular readers of the C&E?
ANSWER: Yep. Keep theM. cards and letters- coming. And regularly take tithe out to thank the good lord for Joe Harding.