Originally published in the January 1988 issue of the Collector and Emitter.
The Christmas season marked an important anniversary at Honor Roll Ranch. It has now been one year since Q.R. Zedd, world’s greatest DXer, started tutoring Homer Klott for his ham ticket.
Homer, faithful readers will recall, appeared out of an icy mist a year ago on the night of the SCARS Christmas party. Zedd had just boasted that he could make anyone a licensed amateur with his skilled teaching. Then came Homer, CB antenna waggling, to say he was Zedd’s man, he wanted to be a radio armature, and ten-four good buddy.
Since that fateful night, Zedd has worked hard with Homer, far more than decency and the space limitations of this column have allowed us to report. Alas, Homer has proven to be that rarest bird, a man whose brain cells do not communicate with one another.
It has been hard on Zedd. His hair is grayer now, and the Coors truck comes twice a week. But progress has been made, and only a few days ago, Zedd gave Homer a practice written examination in hopes of having him ready soon for the VEs.
We secured the text of the toot, with Homer’s answers, and here it is, just as we found it on the floor of the Zedd shack:
- — Emission type F3 refers to:
One of them beam, with the three things sticking out of it. Reflector and Emitter. - — Willful interference can be defined as:
That is when you have interference of the nearest kind, such as when your rubber duckies is crost. - — The three elements used in Ohm’s law are:
Pie, R and Square. - — The characteristic impedance of RG58 coax is:
Ten meters below 28.3? - — Antennas should be grounded during thunderstorms because: Otherwise if they is not on the ground, they will fly away somewheres.
- — Calculate the length of a dipole antenna to be resonant at 7.1 MHz.
6.6 inches or 6.6 meters, one, try both. - — In Single Sideband transmission, one of the sidebands is:
Not married. - — An amateur radio operating license must be renewed every:
Time you move, or if the ARRL tells you to or several years, whichever comes first. - — Every well-run station should have a dummy load because:
Otherwise the owner of the radio would have to load things hisselfi_ and then that would make him the dummy instead of the dummy he hired to load for him. - — In order to initiate a contact with any station which may be listening, the amateur radio operator sends a general call signified by the letters:
10-4 you got a copy, come on back? - — A novice station operating in its assigned frequency range in the 40-meter band may operate with a maximum power of:
Just enough so when you put down your key the house lights don’t go too dim. - — To operate most effectively, a dipole antenna should be at least how high above ground?
Well you have finally found one I do not know the answer o, sorry. - — There are two kinds of simple circuits: series and _____.
Perilous. - — The two parts of a diode are the cathode and the
Doghode? - — Most amateurs keep a careful logbook because:
Otherwise how would they know when they was going to run out of firewood?
— KU5B