Originally published in the December 1988 issue of the Collector & Emitter.
Comes a radiogram:
TO: KU5B
FROM: Little Sally Smith
SUBJECT: Is Zedd real?
TEXT:
Dear Mr. KU5B,
Some of my friends have told me that there really isn’t a Q. R. Zedd. I don’t know who else to ask. Please tell me the truth. I know you would not lie to a sweet little girl working on her DXCC. Is Mr. Zedd real?
Dear Little Sally,
Your friends are not telling you the truth.
Q. R. Zedd not real? My goodness! He is as real as the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus! Better to say that Christmas is not real, or that good little DXers like yourself do not dream of getting a new DX Cailbook in their stocking!
Would you believe your little friends if they tried to tell you there is no Box 88? Would you believe them if they said Clipperton would never be on the air again? Would you believe them if they tried to tell you that other heroes like W5NUT had converted to CB?
Of course not! — My dear, Q. R. Zedd is as real as the Russian Woodpecker. He is as true and actual as the sounds of tuning-up on top of every DX station, the cussing of the vigilantes who work out of the band to tell the unwary that they have accidentally called a DX station on the wrong VFO, the laughing machines on top of the weak ones, the rare one who won’t send you a QSL card, or the one who goes QRT just when you think it’s your turn.
Little Sally, my dear, you must always remember that Q. R. Zedd, mightiest DXer of them all, lives just a hoot and a holler south of town. He is the only holder of a 1×1 callsign. Like Wyatt Earp, he is brave, courageous and bold. His exploits are legion. There has never been anyone to rival him.
If you are not yet in his logbook, Sally, then you may be sure that tonight may be the night. It matters not what band or mode you work, because Zedd monitors all bands, all modes, all frequencies, at all times. And if you have not yet worked him, you are one of the rarest radio amateurs of all, and surely you will hear his magnificent bass voice booming in this very night, 40 over 9.
Q. R. Zedd is as real as Straight Key Night, QSB on 10 meters, QRN on 75, and computer CW operators who set their machines to send at 40 and then ask you to QRS when you reply at 15.
No Q. R. Zedd? Better to say there is no tooth fairy, no little engine that could, no Yodar Kritch!
You must never listen to your little friends, Little Sally. Press on in pursuit of your DXCC, glad in your heart that great ones like Q. R. Zedd have gone that way before you.
For Q. R. Zedd is real. He is as real as new antennas that exhibit a high SWR, and nerds who have never seen the installation, but want to tell you on two meters how to fix the problem. As long as good little boys and girls tune their rigs and call “CQ DX?”, Zedd will live in their hearts. And every magic moment a DXer unkeys the mike and hears a faint voice coming back with a prefix like BY or AP — or even sometimes during the sunspot pits with a G or an F — the spirit of Zedd will endure.
No Zedd, Little Sally? What nonsense! Only the poor of heart, and thin of logbook, have ever dared to question his reality. He is as real as you or I. And he lives forever, Little Sally, in the hearts of all good little DXers.
Cling to your faith. Never listen to the technocrats or the cynics. Every night, as you warm yourself in the glow of your 3-500Zs, crying into the darkness as you try to crack that pileup for the rare one, remember that Q. R. Zedd is with you.
For he is more real than most of the people you meet on the street every day of your life!
I showed your letter to the great man himself, Little Sally, and he will be listening for you. In the meantime, he said Merry Christmas, and a very happy new year – and 88.
— KU5B