Originally published in the February 1985 C&E.
It is not easy being Q. R. Zedd, according to Q. R. Zedd.
Zedd was at the Red Cross in Norman on a recent Saturday morning, and during the weekly coffee guzzling and doughnut demolition derby run by the South Canadian Amateur Radio Society, the great man admonished the faithful about the difficulty of being so great and famous.
“It is hard, being so great and famous,” said Zedd, A5A, the world’s greatest DXer. “Nearly every time I leave Honor Roll Ranch, which as you know is just a hoot and a holler south of town, I am plagued by autograph seekers, lonely women, and young men eager to make their reputation by besting me in a DX contest.
“Why, just today,. Zedd went on, hiking his booted feet up on the edge of the table in the Red Cross kitchen, “I was coming across the bridge when this youngun flagged me down beside his parked pickup. Thinking he had trouble, I of course stopped.
“Imagine By surprise, the moment I stopped By car, to see the young man whip out an Icom mobile rig, pop up a sixty-foot antenna tower, and challenge me to a one-hour DX contest.”
Zedd sighed and bit the end off a cheroot. “Naturally I didn’t have time for an hour contest. I was anxious to get here to the cofee-drinking, and also I was up all night working all the stations in Australia.
“But would the lad take no for an answer? No. Of course not. So what I had to do was grab my Kenwood out of the trunk and work a few stations just to put the boy in his place.
“He started out working a couple of Cambodians and a Hungarian, so I whipped out a couple of contacts in Tibet, a Brooklyn CW station, and five guys in China. He was real game, though, and he countered with AF5X in Utah, who was modulating a French horn at the time. And then he came right back with a long-delayed echo from WB5QNK and some guy named Gipetto working out of the belly of a whale someplace.
“Naturally I had to do something fast because about fifty or sixty lonesome women were beginning to gather, and Tondelayo (my nubile, blond, 20-year-old QSL secretary and constant companion) gets real put out with me when she finds lipstick on my microphone.
“So, I pulled out all of the stops and worked 200 countries in the next eight minutes, and the kid gave up. But by that time, wouldn’t you know it, all them women were grabbing at me and tearing at my clothing and kissing me and all, and I tell you, boys, I almost didn’t get away.
“That,” Zedd went on through a cloud of cheroot smoke, “is why I don’t go to functions like Ham Holiday or the SCARS Christmas party any more. It is just too hard, being a celebrity. If this keeps up, I might end up being a recluse like George Harrison or my late great friend, Elvis, down there at Graceland.”
Somebody in the crowd noted that Zedd often gets way from the madding crowd this time of year with a Dxpedition.
“That’s very clever of you to notice that,” Zedd told the questioner. “I often do go off to some wild an exotic locale for a few weeks at this time of year. As a matter of fact, I have been thinking of making a little journey very shortly. Would you like to hear about it?”
Naturally everybody chorused assent, and begged for the details.
“Well,” the great one said, “I can’t reveal the exact location yet, boys, but I can guarantee, you that it is going to be a dandy. If you would like to stand by a while, I’ll get the details to you just as quick as I can through my pal, KU5B. In the meantime, if any of you would like an autographed picture, or want to share in the honor of scaling and repainting some of by towers, why, you can just lineup right over there and I’ll take down your names and callsigns.”
There was naturally a great stampede to line up. Zedd took down all the names, ate another four doughnuts, challenging the record recent set by N5BEW, and departed.
“Where do you suppose he’s going this time?” asked W5MCN in hushed (for him) tones.
“Gee whillikers,” replied WASRPP, “I don’t know, but it is sure exciting to wonder about.”
All of us wondered. A bulletin from Zedd was expected momentarily.