Originally published in the June 1986 issue of the Collector & Emitter.
The world’s premiere DXer, Q. R. Zedd, A5A, made an appearance at the town of Noble’s Rose Rock Festival early in May, and took time out from signing autographs to reveal his plans for Ham Holiday in Oklahoma City later this summer.
Zedd, whose Honor Roll Ranch is just a hoot and a holler north of Noble, said he plans to mosey around the flea market and tell the faithful a few secrets of DX and life in general.
The legendary amateur radio operator who has worked all stations on all bands was married not long ago to his long-time companion and QSL secretary, Tondelayo Schwartz, W5FPN. “Once I had activated Atlantis from underwater stations, I figured I might as well relax a while and give Tondelayo her chance for happiness,” Zedd said modestly. “Besides, the way the bands are most days at this point in the sunspot cycle, I had some spare time.”
At Ham Holiday, Zedd said, he will try to address some of the following bothersome questions concerning DX:
ONE — Why is it that most of the good stuff seems to go QRT just when you’ve found him and gotten tuned up?
TWO — How come W7PHO calls some operators “loverboy,” but never calls you that?
THREE — What weird effect of propagation lets W5LFK give some DX station a 5-9 when the same DX station is 2-2 Cat best) at your station eight, miles away?
FOUR — How do you explain it when you spend $16,000 on the best towers and beams in your quest for DX, and finally work about 35 countries, and then visit a great DXer in Shawnee or someplace and find that he’s got a busted Yagi on a rusty old windmill tower, and the rotor last rotated in 1966, and the beam is tied to, the north with a piece of clothesline, and he’s worked about 360 DX counters, including three or four last week when you couldn’t even hear the colorburst crystal in your own TV set?
FIVE — What do you do with those 99 memories in some of the newest hf rigs?
SIX — Why is it that every time you get some time off to chase DX, either the band is dead or a gopher just ate through your coax?
SEVEN — After you’ve tried to QSL a new one in the Indian Ocean or somewhere, and you’ve already guessed that your report was 5-5, 4-4, 5-4, 4-5, 3-4 and 4-3, which way should you guess next, to make the master of ceremonies think it was a good contact? Should you yell, “QSL the 5-9!” (the LFK approach), or yell, “QSL the (cough)”? Or maybe start with 5-6 and work up? Or what?
EIGHT — How come the ones you’ve already worked are always a legitimate 5-9, while the ones you still need are four S-units below the powerline racket?
NINE — By what magic does the good DX always come on just after you went QRT? Or go QRT just after you found him?
TEN — Why does the ARRL get your callsign wrong when it lists DXCC credits?
ELEVEN — Why does it take fifteen seconds to tune the linear when nothing is on and you’re just messing around, but you need five minutes to get the damned thing to dip when the pileup is just beginning to get ferocious around a rare one?
TWELVE — How come a new rig is always more fun than an old one even though you knew how to work the old one, and you always made contacts with it, and operating the new one is a little like trying to fill your own teeth?
THIRTEEN — Why do you always hear that the big bass are hitting just when something like Clipperton comes on?
FOURTEEN — What medicine will best relieve the pain after you’ve bashed your top front teeth against the metal grid on your microphone?
FIFTEEN — Why do wives complain during contest weekends? What’s wrong with making them deal with the neighbors who want to watch TV? What’s so bad about having three or four guys sleeping on your kitchen table? only for a weekend.
Zedd said he’ll also do a high-speed CW demonstration. Tondelayo will bring cookies, and dance.