Originally published in the September 1986 issue of the Collector and Emitter.
It has been a fine summer for Q.R. Zedd, world’s greatest DXer and all-around wonderful person.
Zedd, A5A, who lives just a hoot and a holler south of town, established a new record in late July when he worked all stations in less than 24 hours. He topped off that achievement by working WA5MLT on August 1. With the help of his loyal and ever-faithful companion, Tondelayo, he also got all the towers on Honor Roll Ranch repainted, and launched his second personal communications satellite, Zedd-2, during the first week of August.
Zedd had planned to let NASA launch Zedd-2 “as my patriotic duty, to boost their morale,” but NASA couldn’t get ready, so Zedd launched from the shores of Lake Thunderbird, using a launcher he put together from spare parts bought at a Johnson Space Center flea market last Fall.
“Zedd-2 is working real good,” the great man said. “So far I have worked all Jupiter and three stations in South Dakota, which is also a feat.”
Asked about DX plans for the winter season, Zedd said he is staying loose because of Tondelayo’s delicate condition. As is well known locally, the darling girl, blond, nubile and dynamite with a Bencher keyer, had to suspend her tapdancing lessons a month ago. It has been widely assumed that she is in the family way.
Zedd revealed that his personal tests indicate the new solar cycle is under way. He has observed four high-latitude sunspots on The face of Old Sol within the past three weeks, and worked Cleveland on 75 at high noon on the 28th — sure signs that things are looking up. He called “QRZ” on 10 meters just the other day and had to call in Ten-10 International and three volunteers from the South Canadian Amateur Radio Society to help him get the frequency cleared by nightfall. For the record, he and his aides from SCARS worked 37K.
“This is going to be a great sunspot cycle,” Zedd said. I expect by next year this time the flux will be up near 180 and the K index will be 1. That will put the Zedd Factor at 275, at least, meaning I will be giving lucky DX stations an average of 275 contacts an hour on all bands, all modes.”
Work is proceeding nicely, the great man revealed, on his new walk-in linear. The poured concrete building has dried nicely and the water-cooling towers are in operation. As soon as OG&E gets the new power lines installed to power up the transformers, Zedd will go operational.
He plans to conduct initial tests on his Ardmore-to-Liberal, Kansas, longwire starting about October 1.
Meanwhile, nothing more had been heard by presstime about events following the recent visit of Russian DX ace Boris Badenov and his constant companion from Box 88, the raven-haired Natasha Bullwinkle. Badvenov, as loyal readers will remember, had implied dire plans to un-seat Zedd as world’s greatest.
Oklahoma Collector & Emitter is, as usual, sparing no expense in trying to track down the nasty Badenov’s scheme. So far, our enquiries to Box 88 and Pravda had yielded only an engraved invitation to sunbathe at the Chernobyl Nuclear Spa. We shall persist.
As for Zedd —
“What, me worry?” he chortled, and headed off for the old fishing hole, his electronic flyrod over his shoulder. Over the hill ahead of him, the big bass swam up into shallow water and fought amongst themselves to be first on his hook. He gave several of them a break,
— KU5B