Originally published in the December 1986 issue of the Collector and Emitter.
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the shack
Not an eyelid was open —
Not even a crack.
And Zedd in his nightshirt
And Tondelayo so cool
Were all settled down
For a nap ere the Yule.
The rigs were scanning,
The Benchers were quiet,
And a station in Fuji
Was causing a riot
When out on the lawn
There arose such a clatter,
Zedd sprang from his bed
To see what was the matter.
The moon on the wires
Of the towers and beams
Gleamed like the best
Of a DXer’s dreams.
When what to Zedd’s
Wondering eyes did appear
But a Kawasaki 1000
And a bag of ham gear.
With a little old driver
So unfamiliar with trauma,
Zedd knew in a moment
It must be his Momma.
To save you some time
We’ll get right to the best,
And skip how she’d cycled
From Mena on west.
For as Zedd barely saw her,
And was about to call,
Through the window she came
— Rigs, cycle and all.
She was dressed all in satin
From her head to her feet,
Red nails and spike heels
Helped make her more neat.
Her hair, it was frizzy,
And her eyes were so bright
That any cowboy would know
That this was the night.
Her dimples were laughing,
She was covered with wiggles,
And Zedd, just seeing her,
Was convulsed by his giggles.
She said not a word,
But gifted the DX hog
With new rigs and keyers
And a 1,000-page log.
Then, leaving Tondelayo
10K of Pampers and a computer,
She fired up the cycle
With a roar and a hooter.
And rolling the throttle
And popping the clutch,
She blasted on out of there
Doing wheelies and such.
But Zedd heard her exclaim
As she roared out of sight —
“Work ’em all again, honey!
And keep on being the best!
Happy Yuletide to you —
And cheers to all the rest!”
— KU5B